Jamie Otis is revealing more about the loss of her and Married at First Sightcostar and husband Doug Hehner‘s first baby, just one day after sharing the heartbreaking news.
“My heart is so heavy,” Otis, whose little boy was due in December, wrote Thursday in a new blog post. “There are no words to express the pain and sorrow associated with losing our baby Hehner.”
Otis, 30, explained that she had recently decided to visit a high risk pregnancy doctor’s office over concerns that she was bleeding too much. The reality star said the baby was still moving around and had a strong heartbeat, and doctors found nothing wrong with the placenta.
Visiting the first of four specialists, Otis and Hehner learned, however, that things were not okay with their little one — she did not have enough amniotic fluid.
“How could the prognosis be so ‘poor’ when I had just seen our baby’s feet kicking and his little body bouncing around in my belly less than a week before,” Otis writes. “Needless to say, we didn’t want to believe in that prognosis even though everyone raved about how amazing this doctor is. (And there’s no doubt in my mind he is an amazing doctor, but we were just in such denial!) We decided I would go on bed rest, drink lots of coconut water and even more regular spring water and fight for our baby.”
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Otis (who recently released her memoir Wifey 101) asserted that “so much more happens” after her initial appointment, information that she is not yet ready to share with the public. Asking for prayers, Otis writes of her little boy, “I know he is up in heaven and I am sure he is bouncing on clouds, but selfishly I wish he was still bouncing in my belly.”
She continues, “He was given to us so graciously by God, and then God took him away way too early. My heart hurts so bad. Losing our baby has been the most terrible experience. I wish no one would ever have to endure this.”
In conjunction with the emotional post, Otis shared a photo from one of her final doctor’s office visits on Instagram. Alongside the image, Otis thanked fans for their support.
“Jamie is the strongest woman I know,” a close friend of the couple told PEOPLE. “And Doug has remained her rock through everything. Their love will get them through this.”
Hehner, 35, also spoke out about losing the baby on social media Wednesday, writing to his son, “you will forever be in our hearts.”
— Lindsay Kimble