1. You have all your future children’s names picked out.
Middle names, too.
2. You have an Olympic gold medal in waving at babies.
“Hiiiiiiiiiiiii and what’s your name?”
3. Your baby talk game is A+.
It annoys almost all of the adults around you.
4. You have a sixth sense for whenever a baby enters the room.
Probably because they smell like your hopes and dreams.
5. You follow about 1,000 baby accounts on Instagram.
Don’t lie: You’ve spent countless hours double-tapping cute baby photos.
6. This is because you lose your shit over well-dressed children.
7. Twins? Forget it. Your heart doesn’t stand a chance.
THERE ARE TWO OF THEM.
8. You’re convinced that every child loves you.
“I don’t know, I just have a way with children.”
9. Your heart cannot handle a baby in a costume.
Try. To. Compose. Yourself. BUT IT’S A MINI MARTY MCFLY.
10. You beg to hold other people’s babies.
11. But when the baby starts to cry and their parent takes them away to calm them down, you get offended.
Baby, why you betray me like that.
12. When you see a baby that kiiiiiind of looks like you, you think, OMG that baby could totally be my baby!
Then you try to discreetly take a photo so you can show everyone what your future child might look like.
13. You’re always down to babysit.
You would LOVE to spend your Friday night babysitting.
14. You were born to be a godparent.
YOU’D BE SO GOOD AT IT.
15. Every time you see baby clothes, you die inside.
THE SOCK IS SO SMALL AND SO TINY AND SO CUTE.
16. Sometimes you’ll browse for baby clothes and people will ask, “Aww, how old is yours?”
Then you have to go and pretend like you have a kid and you’re not just sobbing over baby Converse.
17. You’ll find yourself saying weird things that totally sound like compliments in your head.
“No, I mean, they’re cute and I want to eat their chubby little legs! Wait, no.”
18. There’s a good chance you’ve tried a face-morphing generator to see what your future child will look like.
It’s not a big deal, you just want some sort of idea.
19. You actually love seeing people’s baby photos on Facebook.
‘Cause you know, you’re happy for them.
20. You ~may~ have started a Pinterest board for nursery ideas.
It’s just good to be prepared, tbh.
21. Finally, when people say it’s weird that you’re so obsessed with babies, you’re like, “Bye.”