One of the reasons Adele has become one of the world’s most-loved celebrities is that she’s always been endearingly honest.
Well, now she’s used this honesty to talk about her experience of postnatal depression – and how the illness has made her “scared” to contemplate having more children.
Speaking to Vanity Fair, Adele said:
I’m too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I was very reluctant. My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said: “Fuck that, I ain’t hanging around with a fucking bunch of mothers.” Then, without realising it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. One day I said to a friend: “I fucking hate this,” and she just burst into tears and said: “I fucking hate this, too.”
She went on to say that she felt confused by the illness, as her experience of postnatal depression didn’t appear in the form she’d heard about – and at times, she feared she’d made “the worst mistake of her life” in having a child.
My knowledge of postpartum — or post-natal depression, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate. I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life. It can come in many different forms.
Adele then said she began to feel better once she set some time aside for herself, without the pressures of motherhood.
Eventually, I just said: “I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the fuck I want without my baby.” A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said: “I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.” Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it; they thought everyone would think they were a bad mum, and it’s not the case. It makes you a better mum if you give yourself a better time.
However, she concluded by saying that the love she has for her son has made her selfless.
You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mum. I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him. I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.